Prequels and Sequels
by Merlock-Gurl
Summary: Random stories about Barney Stinson and Billy Buddy throughout their lives, and eventually their first meeting.
1. Prologue

For two young women, one blonde and one brunette, it began with a simple statement: _**Trust me.**_

The blonde heard these words in a truck stop from a man she had met only moments before. He was tall, blonde and handsome. Not to mention a bit lustful for her. She thought for a moment what her mother had told her as a teenager: _never sleep with a man who refuses to use protection and says Trust me. _She shook the thoughts out of her head as she shoved her tongue down his throat, fullying realizing where this would lead. _Screw it_, she thought as he closed the bathroom door behind them with an audible click. _What's the worst that can happen?_

The brunette heard those words uttered by the same man as the blonde. He held her close. She had just gotten out of a terrible relationship with her last boyfriend, and wasn't ready to leap back into the dating word just yet. Yet as she looked up at the man, she couldn't see her best friend anymore. All she could see was the man who was always there for her, the one who had brought her ice cream for every breakup, and had stayed up with her on the phone as she ranted about how terrible her last boyfriend was. She realized that maybe...just maybe...she had fallen in love with him somewhere along the line. She snuggled into the crook of his arm and sighed. _Might as well give this a shot. After all, what's the worst that can happen?_

Turns out, the worst CAN happen.

For the blonde, called Mikki, she found she was pregnant a month later, and proceeded to be kicked out of her house by her parents. She gave birth eight months later to a little boy: Barney Stinson.

For the brunette, Regina, she got everything she had ever wanted: a perfect wedding, a husband who loved her unconditionally and the perfect job that would allow her to work and stay at home with the family. Nine months after that perfect wedding in May, she gave birth to a little boy as well: William Buddson.

But a perfect ending wouldn't make an interesting story, now would it?

Regina spent an amount of two years with her husband before he was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. The police never found his killer.

After that point, Regina couldn't bear to look at the little boy that looked so much like her dead husband. She still loved Billy, but it was hard not to look in his brilliant blue eyes and not see the man she once shared her life with. She hated herself whenever she began to think that maybe she should send Billy away somewhere...to her parents in Texas maybe...just so she wouldn't have to wake up to that pair of blue eyes staring at her from the foot of the bed each morning.

Her salvation came in the form of a letter from a prep school in New York. They had seen her son's unusually high marks in school, and thought he would be "an asset to St. Paul's Preparatory School." She only felt a twinge of guilt as she helped her son pack his bags and sent him off on an airplane to New York. As she watched the plane taxi away, she found herself motionless, thinking of the last thing she had said to her son: _Trust me._


	2. How I Met My Moist

Billy refused to grab the stewardess' hand as he walked behind her on the plane. He didn't want just any kind of comfort right now: he wanted his mom. He wanted for her to race into the plane, saying that all this was a mistake; that her son had been mixed up with someone else, that she was taking him home.

Yet as time dragged on, that fantasy never came true. He sat down and stared out the window, praying that he would see his mother running out of her car to get him.

His thoughts were disrupted by someone thumping down onto the seat next to him. He turned his head, and came face to face with a little boy, not much older than him. The boy had the kind of haircut parents give their children by placing a bowl in their head, and was munching away on a piece of chocolate nervously. His brown eyes were darting everywhere, like he was afraid someone was going to steal away his treat. Billy thought with a small grin that he looked like a chipmunk.

The boy looked at Billy for a moment, before offering a piece of his chocolate bar. Billy shook his head. He wasn't a huge fan of chocolate since his mom had conditioned him not to like it.

The boy re-wrapped the chocolate before wiping his hands on his pants. He stuck out a small hand to Billy. "Hi, I'm Marcus Smith."

Billy took Mark's hand nervously and shook it. "William Buddson."

"Where are you going? I'm going to New York for some school called St. Paul's. I hear it's a nice school, but I don't know if I should trust my dad. He told me that cough medicine would taste nice, and it turned out to taste really bad!" Mark rambled. Billy tried to suppress a smile.

"I'm going to St. Paul's as well," Billy responded. He watched a huge grin cover the little boy's face.

"Really? That's so cool! We're going to the same school! I'm seven, so I'm going into Grade Two. How old are you?"

"I'm eight...but I'm going into Grade Six," Billy admitted sheepishly.

Mark's eyes went as wide as saucers. "Wow...you must be really smart then!"

"I guess," Billy responded as the plane began to move.

For the rest of the plane ride, Mark proceeded to ramble about everything: his family, his friends back home, his hobbies, anything to fill in time as the plane headed to its destination.

Billy made sure to nod and respond at all the right moments as he watched the sky from his window.

It didn't matter that he was only in St. Paul's' for a year before he was kicked out on account of setting the school lab on fire: he had made a friend for life.


	3. Bros Before Hoes Doesnt Apply Here

Billy watched as Barney swirled the dark amber liquid in his glass before tossing part of it down his throat in one smooth motion.

"So, what's your problem, little bro?" Barney asked as he manoeuvred himself on the chair, causing his legs to swing over the edge of the armrest before they dangled there. They were still swinging slightly when he looked away from his glass to Billy. "Trouble in paradise?"

Billy took a quick swallow from his glass, and winced as the scotch burned down his throat. _How Barney likes this crap I'll never know_, he thought.

"Not exactly..." Billy began.

"Is she cute?" Barney interrupted, excited.

"What?" Billy asked in confusion.

"The girl who is making you turn into Ted," Barney said with a smirk before he chuckled at his own joke. Billy always hated that laugh. The one that made all the boys hate Barney and all the girls want him in our private school. Billy had tried laughing like that once, but all he got were weird looks and one girl mouthing to her friend "LOSER!"

"Who said it's a girl? It could be a guy..." Billy said, trying to throw Barney off. He looked at Billy for a second before he responded.

"Dude...you nearly barfed when I told you how gay guys do it. I don't think you're gay," he said calmly before he laughed. "So, do I know her?"

"Why would I tell you? You'd just try to steal her away from me," Billy answered evenly, trying not to let his emotions show. This only caused Barney to laugh even harder, which nearly caused him to spill his scotch into the hand-woven carpet he had gotten for his apartment. Added class, apparently.

'True, true," he said between laughs. "I don't have the best track record in terms of your girlfriends, do I?"

Billy frowned at his grinning face. The last girlfriend Billy had was Cathy, way back in high school. She took one look at Barney and his charms, and practically tried to dry-hump him in her lust. Needless to say, Billy stopped telling the girls he dated about his playboy brother.

Yet they always found about him...

"No...You don't..." Billy finally said, staring at the brown liquid sloshing around in his glass as he tipped it side to side.

"I promise I won't steal her away from you," Barney said earnestly, his hand over his heart. "Bros before hoes!"

Billy still didn't trust him, but he needed advice, and desperately. Sadly, Barney was his only option, since Moist had run off somewhere with Bait for the weekend.

"Fine... I don't think you know her. She's really kind and smart and cute and sweet and..." Billy started rambling before he saw Barney smirk. "What?"

'You're in love with her," he stated.

"No I'm not! I just really like her is all!" Billy defended, his face colouring.

"Sure you do..." Barney said as he tried to pat Billy's head, like he was a child. Billy swatted his arm away, clearly annoyed. "Sooooooo, what's her name?"

"Does it matter?"

Barney smiled. "Nah, not really. Just trying to make conversation."

He sipped some more of his scotch as they sat there awkwardly.

Billy was about to say something, when Barney interrupted him, a look of curiousity on his face.

"Wait, before you tell me her name, can you answer me one more question?"

"Uh...I guess..." Billy said, halfway expecting Barney to ask, _Do you know if she's good in the sack?_

The next words that came out his mouth were NOTHING like that, however.

"Does Calla know her?" Barney asked, waiting for a response. Calla Lily was the girl who lived above Billy's apartment, and worked at Coin Wash as the manager while her boss (an old Swedish lady) was away on vacation for the month. Barney and her had actually met up once when Barney was scheduled to come to Coin Wash and offer business renovations. It was friendship at first sight, if that was even possible.

Billy nearly dropped his scotch, but caught the glass just in time. "What?"

"Does Calla Lily know this girl?" Barney repeated.

"Um...she sort of _is_ the girl," Billy said, his face going pink with embarrassment.

To the keen observer, it would appear that Barney's glass had begun to shake, the liquid sloshing slightly. It was very subtle, but enough for someone to notice. Barney's friends had seen this only once before Barney had exploded into a long rant about something or other, a topic long forgotten. They knew what this little nervous tic meant.

And it was not good.

"Oh...that's great," Barney said as he got up to refill his glass. He fully turned his back to Billy, and tried to make sure none of the scotch spilt onto the wooden counter. "How long have you known that you liked her?"

"Since I first saw her in the laundry mat," Billy said proudly.

"I'm going to try and ask her out tonight," he said absent-mindedly.

Barney gripped the counter for support as he felt his whole body tighten. Barney wanted to ignore it and pretend like everything was great for the sake of his brother, that Barney was ecstatic that Billy had found love after Penny, but he couldn't. That would hurt too much. For you see, Barney's heart had softened once again after his relationship with Robin...for a twenty-three year old, who worked at Coin Wash, named Calla Lily.

Barney's mind's eye suddenly flashed to a couple of nights ago, in her apartment. They had gone to her apartment to discuss some of the renovations to be made at the laundry mat, but ended up just talking about life in general...

_"So they seriously woke up next to each other and started screaming?"_

_"Yep... They refuse to talk to each other now. I can't say I'm surprised though...they HAVE been living together for a while now, and c'mon, you think that HADN'T crossed their minds before?" Barney responded with a smirk. Ted and Robin had gotten impossibly drunk after Don left, and had looked to each other for comfort. Turned out, that comfort came in the form of the two of them humping until 3 am._

_Calla smirked. "So you're saying that roommates that are co-ed are always guaranteed to bang at some point?" _

_"Yep," Barney responded routinely._

_"So if we were roommates...you and I would fuck at some point?"_

_"Yep," Barney responded without thinking before he fully realized what she had said. "Wait..what?" _

_"You would bang me?" she repeated._

_Barney was stunned for a moment. He wanted to say yes without hesitation, but something stopped him. For once in his life, he hadn't thought of a girl he met as a sex object for his personal pleasure: he saw a young girl with big dreams and a smile that could cure cancer. _

_"Is there a wrong answer?" he teased as he tried to sort out his thoughts. _

_"No, I'm just curious is all..."_

_He rose up from the couch they had been sitting on. "Get up for a second."_

_She rose up slowly to stand beside the couch. "What?"_

_Barney checked her out, and found himself staring at her face, which was adorably flushed. "What are you doing Barney?"_

_"Rating you..." he murmured. "On looks, you're probably a 6.5. Sorry Calla Lily, but you're no supermodel."_

_"Ouch," she remarked with a smile._

_"But on personality, you're a 9. You should feel lucky..I don't usually include personality in my judgment. So that makes you..." I said as I figured out the average. "About an 8."_

_She beamed. "Awesome!"_

_"How would you rate me?" he asked, interested in her response._

_"Promise you won't be weirded out?" _

_"Well now that you've said that, I am a little bit. But continue..." _

_Barney wanted to respond, but the clock chimed 2 o'clock in the morning. "Well then...it's getting pretty late...goodnight Calla Lily."_

_"Night Barney," she said quietly. He grabbed his coat off the nearby chair and began to walk out of her room, when she rested her hand lightly on his arm._

_"Wait...before you go...what do you think of my rating?"_

_He smiled at her and found himself kissing her lips lightly. "It's very complimentary, thank you. And what do you think of mine?"_

_She wrapped her arms around Barney's neck and kissed him softly, before gently prying his mouth open with her tongue. He responded naturally, and slipped his tongue into her mouth, making her moan slightly. Barney grinned. _

_"You like my rating __**that **__much?" he breathed, smirking._

_"Just shut up and kiss me Barney," she murmured back before shoving her tongue down his throat._

_His fingers tangled themselves in her hair as they deepened the kiss. He stopped for a moment to begin biting her neck gently, before returning to her mouth and nibbling her lower lip._

_They eventually ended up back on the couch, her shirt rolled up to just beneath her bra and his shirt completely gone. She encircled her legs around his hips as they kissed, which caused Barney in turn to kiss around her bellybutton gently. She gasped. _

_"Are you sure you want to -" he began to ask when she pulled his face up to meet her own and kissed him overpoweringly._

_As Calla began to undo the buckle of his pants and slide them down, her cell phone vibrated. She removed her mouth with an audible pop before she looked at the screen and scowled._

_"Sorry Barney...my best friend is having an early-life crisis or something and needs me," I groaned as she slid herself away from him._

_As she left her apartment, she tossed me the keys. "Feel free to stay here for the night. We'll finish off what we started __**later.**__"_

_Barney sat there for a moment, grinning like an idiot. But for once, he didn't care._

_Looked like Billy wasn't going to be the only reason Barney would be staying in LA..._

"She's not guaranteed to say yes," Barney found himself saying.

"I know..but I'm still going to try..."

"Look Billy, you might as well find someone else. If you go after her, you're only setting yourself up for heart break!" he exclaimed.

Billy's face fell before he glared at Barney in anger.

"You didn't sleep with her did you?" he hissed. "Because if you did, I swear Barney, I'll..."

"Kill me...I know I know. Just chill out, okay Bro? All that happened between us was we kissed, alright?" _And then basically made out on her couch, nearly slept together, she got a text and had to go. _

This was not what Billy wanted to hear. "You...did...WHAT?"

Barney had only a second to look up and see the freeze ray now pointed at his chest. He was suddenly assaulted with mind-numbing pain, before his whole body ceased to move.

"I'm going to talk to Calla Lily. Don't bother coming up after me once you're unfrozen," Billy growled as he stormed away to her apartment.

Dammit...he really HAD improved his freeze-ray.


End file.
